yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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