I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
