I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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