This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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