**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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