The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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