Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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