I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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