I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
