There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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