if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize