If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
