Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
