i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
