I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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