Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
