U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
