don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
