I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
