Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
