turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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