Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
