you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
