Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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