just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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