That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
