For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
