I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sext me about skeletons
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
