Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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