Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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