I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
His hands were made for my vagina.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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