Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
did you just send me my own nude
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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