I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
