pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
