We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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