i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
