Swine flu is the new snow day.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
PANTIES FOUND
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