So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can I color on your dick again?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
