did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
