I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
