Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
