I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
