oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
