I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize