It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
