I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
