He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
