would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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