remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
