16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
