too bad you live with your parents still
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
