just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
