awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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