My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
