So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
