all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
