beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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