Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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