never play flip cup with pint glasses
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
