She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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