too bad you live with your parents still
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
