I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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